Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hello, I Just Called To Say I Love You...

...I just called to say how much I care...and I mean it from the bottom of my heart...yee
Oh I grew up listening to these kinds of songs and many French songs and very little Turkish songs. So, yes I'm weak in the Turkish music, but I'm learning more every day.
I'm going to try to write short because this month is really busy for me, but I didn't want to ignore my blog and my fans either.
So, This is a page from my diary:
July 12, 2011
Was difficult to wake up this morning because of an irregular sleeping pattern. But I still went up to the terrace to do my yoga and meditation as I promised myself. Anyway I did my standard supta padangustasana (leg stretches lying down) and a few Sun Salutations and then realized I have to limit the time for my meditation since I woke up later than I planned and had to leave by 11 to go to Acupuncture. Aaa how I had hoped for at least 30 minutes of meditation. I set my alarm to 20 minutes. Several things that passed my attention...oh how much I love my meditation practice..wonder where that empty bucket is, the one I have been feeling right in my diaphragm area, is it related to the 3rd chakra like she said..who was saying that...or is it the 4th chakra, the heart chakra, don't know, I haven't felt that odd bucket in past few days...I guess its my 15th day or something of meditation since my heart was broken and then I started feeling this odd empty bucket in me which seemed to be related to me crying during meditation...I still don't know what its all about...no sadness today...oh wait maybe there is still some left..but without an urge to cry..I think I'm fine..no I'm good..of course I'm good..Life is too interesting...no need to imagine things...oh I'm feeling some sensations in the 1st chakra area, around the genitals, hmm...what is this about...interesting..I love doing this, watching my thoughts..I love meditation.. Time's up!
Later..I'm on the ferry going to Acupuncture in Kadikoy as tears flow down my wind chilled and sunny cheeks I write this in Turkish and then in English:
I'm continuing to strip into more nakedness, taking off my layers as if peeling an onion. My thin, delicate and slippery layers are peeling, coming off one by one..and they bring wet pearls with them, flowing out of my eyes.. Wow how beautiful is Istanbul...Wow I'm in love with Istanbul...Wow! I can't believe this..just a month ago I hated this place....But just a sunny and blue ferry ride and some meditation is all I probably needed to fall in love with this city I'm going to be living in..Istanbul!
Daha da Soyunmaya devam ediyorum, bir soğanın kabukları gibi...ince, narin ve kaygan zarlarım soyuluyor birer birer ve her seferinde gözlerimden yaşlar, ıslak ıslak inciler akıyor...Vay be ben İstanbul'a aşık olmuşum, bir vapura binip mavi dalgaların serin serin sallanışı ve güneşin parlattığı manzarayı izlemek yetiyor galiba, ya da meditasyonlar eşliğinde aşk kıvamına geliyor...Vay ben artık İstanbul'da yaşıyorum!

I just wrote to say I love Uuuuuuu, Looove Liiiife, my Reconditioned Life...:)

I started with a song by Stevie Wonder and I'm ending with the song I was listening to on the ferry while writing, by Nouvelle Vague, O Pamela:
This is a page from my diary..the 15th of November..what happened that day I don't remember...but I do remember..I wrote this world..and then we read..slowly to myself without emotion..although the feelings changed the world is still all the same..I have no soul, I'm as cold as December...my hand was shaking as I wrote this page...open the door and let the rain pour in...O Pamela says oh look at the time...believe me that's the least thing on my mind...will you take a walk with me in the sunshine...before its too late...will you take a walk with me by the ocean...

Hehehe...Lay Lay Lom...Life is an Open Mystery...