Friday, June 17, 2011

Üstündekileri Çıkar ve Çıplak Ol!!!

Çıplak Olmak. Nedense, bu ara bu konuyu çok düşünür oldum ve sonra fark ettim ki çıplak olmayı seven, açık ve paylaşan bir arkadaşım var, hemde bunların ihtimalinin olmadığını sandığım ya da ümidimi yersiz yerlere koyduğum bir kültürde (genelleme yaparak tabiki yargılayan Türk toplumundan bahsediyorum). Sonra, yoga eğitmenlerimden biri, Mey Elbi, bu konu üzerine yazdı bloguna, ve ben kendimi başkalarıyla hatta o anda yeni tanıştığım insanlarla bu konuyu konuşur buldum (hani yabancı diyebilirim ama öylede içten bir konu konuşuyoruz ki:)) Derken, kendimi tutamayıp bende yazıyorum, bu ayın 3 Tutulması ve özellikle 15’indeki Dolunay/Ay Tutulmasının getirdiği olağanüstü tahrik edici enerjiyi hissederek.
Peki, nedemektir çıplak olmak? Kıyafetlerini çıkardığında, yani soyunduğunda kendini çıplak olarak düşünüyor musun, veya birine (arkadaşın olabilir) bir sır söylediğinde, veya birine utandırıcı birşeyler söylediğinde, ya da başkalarıyla nadiren paylaşdığın bir şeyi paylaştığında?
Valla, ben diyorum ki, çıplak olmak zaten bunların hepsi. Yani gerçek anlamda kıyafetlerini çıkarmak, ya da maskelerini, rollerini, davranışlarını, vs. çıkarmak da çıkarmak, soyunmak da soyunmak!!!
Ve bence bu harika bir şey:) Bi düşünsene nelerde giyiyoruz. Yani sadece kıyafet değil ki giydiklerimiz, bir de aslında istenmeyen, çirkin maskeler var suratımıza, vücudumuza, duruşumuza yapışmş olan, hatta belkide derinlerde, içerlerde sıkışmış olanlar da var, acıyan kaslar, ağrıyan kemikler gibi... Bazılarımız bunların farkında bile değil, o halde muhtemelen şu an hiç bir şey anlamıyorsun...ama okumaya devam ediyorsun:)

Bazı külürlerde pek de az kıyafet giyilir, muhtemelen bunlar kabile hayatlarında sınırlı. Üstelik bunlar genelde trans içinde şifa verici ve spiritüel tören veya etkinlikler de uygulayanlardır. Trans içinde, yani olağan sınırların çok ötesine geçerek. Gerçekten de bu törenler sırasında kendileri oldukları gibi; kendi aralarında ruhlarıyla ve evrendeki başka enerjilerle birleşiyorlar. Bu törenlerin bazısı içimizdeki gizli saklı travmaları ortaya çıkarabildiği için gerçekten de şifalandırıcı özellik taşıyor. Yoga, meditasyon ve hatta diğer terapilere (modern insanlar bu terapilere alternatif terapi diyorlar, mesela akupunktur, ayurveda, şamanism..) benziyorlar. Bir Kabile (Tribe) internetteki İngilizce sözlükten çevirmeyle şöyle açıklanıyor: Ortak soydan gelen bağları, ve gelenek, görenekleri ile birleşmiş, bir araya toplanan herhangi bir insan topluluğu; başka insanların olduğu bir bölüm. Biz, modern insanlar olarak bu kabile insanlarına çıplak oldukları için acayip diyoruz...öyle değil mi? Çünkü biz daha iyi biliriz, çünkü bizim araştırmalarımız, verilerimiz, tıbbi araçlarımız, silahlarımız, vs. var. Biz biliriz hayatın nasıl olması gerektiğini, ‘Normal’in ne olduğunu...
Ben artık böyle düşünmüyorum. Aslında daha öncesinde bile böyle düşünüyor muydum emin değilim, ama şimdi fark ediyorum ki bende çok giyinik bir şekilde yaşamışım, çok taşımışım, artık sadece kendim olmak istiyorum, Amerika’da yaşarken tanışıp sevdiğim, aşık olduğum kendim. Peki, bu kendilik niye Türkiye’ye taşınmaya karar vermiş, yani kendisi olmaya çalışırken kendini sanki aç kaplanların ortasındaymış gibi hissetiği bir ülkeye? Ya hiç sormayın, bu hala çok belirsiz:)

Artık, kendim olabileceğimi hissediyorum. Kaplanları o taraftaki bir bölgede oldukları güzel hayvanlar gibi kabullenebilirim ve onlarla sadece uzun mesafeli bir ilişkimiz olur. Ben, kendim, artık yoluma devam edebilirim; başka bir bölgede kendileri ile barışık olan, çıplak olan, benim cinsimden yeni arkadaşlar edinerek yakın ilişkileri olan bir topluluk (community) oluşturabilirim, tıpkı bir kabile misali. Topluluk internetteki İngilizce sözlükten çevirmeyle şöyle açıklanıyor (İngilizcedeki 'Community' kelimesinin karşılığı tam aynı olmasada bir Topluluk veya Çevre anlamlarına geliyor, çevre edinmek gibi): Ortak özellikler veya ilgiler paylaşan ve aynı zamanda kendisini içinde var bulunduğu  asıl toplumdan, halktan, ayrı gören sosyal ya da başka bir gurup.
Sanki bir kabileye benziyor değil mi? İstanbul’da tam da ihtiyacım olan buydu zaten. Mutlu Son!
Evet sonunda çıplak olmak, açık olmak, kendin olmak demek. Yani gerçekten kimsen o olmak, sadece sen, ve bunu sevsen de sevmesende kabullenmek,  istediğin gibi de paylaşmak. Başkalarının sana zorla istemediğin bir şeyleri giydirmesine izin vermemek. Bu aynı zamanda fiziksel çıplaklık anlamına da geliyor, yani insan olduğumuzu, güzel vücutlarımızın olduğunu, ten, duyular, ve duygularımızın oluğunu da kabul etmektir! Bu Senin vücudun ve zihnin, o halde bununla Sen ne istiyorsan onu yap. Sal Kendini, bırak akışa...Zaten o orda, zaten olman gerektiği gibisin. Eh! ne duruyorsun o zaman, ister hayal kur, ister çıplak güneşlen, ister seviş, ya da o hep istediğin yere git, veya daha önce kimseyle paylaşmadığın bir şeyi biriyle paylaş, veya daha önce hiç yapmadığın bir şey yap! Ya da basit bir biçimde hiç bir şey yapmayıp kendin için bir mola ver, kendini hissetmek için, çıplak olmak için:)
Sanki sadece Siyah ve Beyaz...Sanki sadece Beyaz Karın içine aktığı Berrak Su gibi...


Not: Çeviriyi yapan: Bendeniz K.  Medium Türkçe bilen ama İngilizceyi Süper bilen ben:)
Orijinal Yazım: Take Your Clothes Off and Be Naked!!!
Türkçe çeviride hatalar olabilir lütfen dikkate almayınız, daha öğreniyorum:)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Take Your Clothes Off and Be Naked!!!

Being Naked. For some reason, I have been thinking a lot about this concept lately, and then I realize I have a friend who is loving being naked, who is so open and sharing in a culture I thought was not possible to be like this or I might have misplaced my hope (in the judging Turkish society of course). Then one of my yoga teachers, Mey Elbi, wrote about it on her blog (in Turkish, Çıplak Olmak), and I found myself talking about this topic with others and even people I just meet (could be considered a stranger but then we talk about such an intimate topic:)) Then, I can't help myself but write about it, feeling the extraordinary exciting energy of this month, with 3 eclipses and the Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse coming on June 15.
So, what does being naked mean? Do you consider yourself naked if you take your clothes off, or when you tell someone (could be a friend) a secret, or tell them something that is embarrassing for you, or something you hardly share with others?
Well, I say, being naked is all of those things. In other words, it's literally taking your clothes off, or taking your masks, roles, acts, etc. off off off!
And I think it is a great thing:) Just think how much we are wearing. It's not just clothes we wear, but all those unwanted, ugly masks that are stuck to our faces, our body, our posture, even possibly tangled up inside, our aching muscles, sore bones... Some of us don't even realize these masks, and in that case maybe you have no idea what this is about...but keep reading:)
In some cultures there are hardly any clothing, possibly that is limited to mostly tribes in which also transcending healing and spiritual ceremonies or activities are practiced. They are truly being themselves, connecting their souls with each other and other energies in the universe during those ceremonies. Some of these ceremonies actually have healing power as they unravel hidden traumas. It's similar to yoga and meditation or even other therapies (modern people call these alternative therapies). A Tribe is described in the online dictionary as any aggregate of people united by ties of descent from a common ancestor, community of customs and traditions; a division of some other people. We, the modern people, call these tribal people weird because they are naked...don't we? Because we know better, because we have research, data, medical tools, weapons, etc. We know what life should be like, what 'Normal' is...
I don't think like this anymore. I'm not even sure if I did think like this before, but I'm realizing now that I've also lived with wearing too much, I want to be just who I am, who I met and loved while living in US. I grew into myself in US. And why did this self decide to move to Turkey where being herself, naked, is like jumping in the middle of hungry tigers? Don't ask me, that is still unclear:)
I feel now I can be myself, I can accept the tigers and let them be the beautiful animal they are on that side of the territory and just have a long-distance relationship with them. I, myself can move on to make friends who are themselves, naked, in a different territory, forming a community, and have a close relationship with my kind; in a tribal fashion. Community is described in the online dictionary as a social or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists. It seems to be similar to a tribe, don't you think? Just what I needed in Istanbul. Happy ending!
So, in the end, being naked is being open, being who you are. Who you really are, only you, and accepting this whether you like it or not, and sharing this in any way you feel like. Not allowing others to force you to wear anything that you don't want. It's also being physically naked and accepting that we are humans, we have beautiful bodies, the skin, the senses and we have feelings! It's Your body and mind, so do what You want with it. Let go of yourself, let if flow... It's already there, you are already happening the way you're supposed to. So, dream if you want, or sunbathe naked, or make love, or go to that place you've always wanted to go, or share something with someone that you've never shared before, or do something you've never done before! Or you may simply do nothing and take a break for yourself, to feel yourself, and be naked:)
Just like Black & White...Just like the White Snow melting into Clear Water...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A Late Morning in Bodrum...

So, I woke up this late morning and instead of doing yoga I started reading a book in bed while birds provided me beautiful live music and I realized how much I've missed reading in bed in the morning...later mom calls and as we're talking.. I say "People have started to come to Bodrum, and I'm realizing its going to be really crowded here in the summer, I like it empty, calm and quiet..." and mom says " Well then maybe you should go to Iceland or maybe Montana was good for you with 3 horses and 2 humans"...and as I'm laughing I'm thinking Iceland isn't a bad idea:) Wasn't that what I wanted; calm, quiet and peaceful nature? Yes that is still what I want, and I thought it is impossible to have that in Istanbul, a city so overwhelming and dense as descibed in Defne Suman's book, but I'm also happy that I've been able to reduce the uncomfortable effect of the density or intensity in Istanbul. Of course this happened by doing yoga and meditation everyday, and later with the help of some new friends, Istanbul become a livable place for me, an option. Does this mean I've adjusted or maybe started to adjust to Turkey? No idea. But I'm thinking I still need to go back and forth from Bodrum and Istanbul...Then I'm not sure yet, could be Iceland...:) Well, later I did do my yoga and breakfast and now I'm writing as the refreshing rain is stopping and birds are starting to sing again as the sun starts to smile...:)

Monday, June 6, 2011

Meditation and Handstands

I am in love with meditation as much as I'm in love with practicing handstand these days. Never did I practice these on a daily basis, but it is a fun journey! These 2 practices used to be pretty difficult and a bit scary for me and I usually chose not to do them, but now I realize I was scared because I lacked the self-confidence and courage. Now that I'm actually learning the proper way to meditate and practice handstands I can't stop doing them every morning. Adho Mukha Vrksasana (downward facing tree), the Handstand is so fun:) OK, so every day I get my legs and hips straight up there somewhere, but then I gracefully fall back down. I can't stand upside down on my own and I don't like doing it with a wall because for some reason that scares me too, maybe I prefer the comfort of a person not a wall. So, this yoga pose is said to improve your sense of balance, calm the brain and it helps relieve stress as it provides you with energy. So, great to do it in the mornings, followed by a long and deep meditation, definitely reenergizes me. The common barrier is the fear of falling since humans normally don't stand upside down, but that's what makes it fun actually. Just watch some kids and you can see they love poses that seem absurd to adults because they have no fear and they love to play. Why can't we all do the same?.. For the adult body who is tangled up with stress (from simply living on this planet) you would need to be comfortable and correctly do Downward facing Dog and Plank poses as preparation for practicing Handstand...If you don't know what I'm talking about then don't even try this yet...Then when you're ready, from Downdog, as you inhale, step one foot closer to your hands (lets say the left foot) and allow your shoulders to stack right on top of your wrists, (similar to coming towards plank pose) gazing down somewhere between your hands, neck relaxed. Exhale and as you engage your core (the bandhas) straighten the other leg (the right) and flex the foot as you kick up. You may want to just kick up with that straight leg for a few times. Then, rest in Child's pose for a few breaths...and start again. This time as you kick up, bring the other leg along to stack your hips on top of your shoulders, and if you can stay like that great, if you fall or are afraid try it facing a wall or with someone holding you at the hips. Once upside down need to remember to keep the legs close and straight and the feet flexed...and keep doing this until you're tired, then rest in Child's pose before continuing your practice. By the way, flexing the foot is stretching your toes towards your head. Check out yoga journal for detailed info.
Funny that I actually was going to write about Meditation and how my life has improved with Meditation...I find myself writing about Handstands as well:)
So, I'm just in love. I can practice yoga and meditation all day and I'm just limiting it to my morning for about 3 hours of practice which is easier to do here in Bodrum. I had given myself homework about 2 months ago while I was in Istanbul to practice meditation every day and see what happens when I do it in the middle of chaotic Istanbul life. Well well well...it worked so beautifully:) I couldn't manage a routine every day, but I did manage to practice meditation somewhere in the day whether it was 5 minutes or 15 minutes (tried harder to do it in the mornings as it sets my mood for the day). Even just a few minutes if I was in a rush would help me internalize and remember that everything that is important, everything that I need is inside, not outside. No need to get angry or hurry or judge, life will happen as it is supposed to. All the love and peace is already within me ever since I was conceived, it just takes a few minutes of closing your eyes and sitting silently without moving to remember this...Even if there is a traffic jam, mean guys yelling for no reason, kids screaming, impatience, unrespectful people, pain or confusion or a nice atmosphere around you...it only takes a few minutes every day, just close your eyes and watch!
Well, after a month had passed I was so happy and thought yes I figured out this Meditation. Haha! Then my knee started to hurt again and became a limitation to my yoga and meditation practice. It became more painful to sit in meditation. I didn't want to go to yoga classes, I wanted to practice on my own. Then (just when I needed the motivation) we were advised to start our own practice during our yoga teacher training...oh how I missed that..to practice for hours every morning on my own. So I tried harder to practice myself at home..and was going to Bodrum where I can easily practice on my own anyway. Before I left, one of our yoga teachers was giving a meditation course. So I went. He said it's common for people who don't know meditation to think that people who meditate have no pain, but they actually do and they are able to tolerate the pain. I was translating the teacher who spoke in English to a crowd of Turkish yogis and when I heard him say this I couldn't help myself and say "Really?" and in my mind I'm thinking, 'I had no idea. How did I think I knew meditation' and 'That must be why I didn't like meditation before because I didn't want to tolerate pain? Huh? But what about my knee pain, I thought pain in the knee meant the start of an injury?'. So, when you don't know and sit in meditation and feel pain you may quit or think you aren't able to do it. But my knee pain? He said if you feel like it's an injury then you may change your sitting position, otherwise you need to sit without moving for 30 minutes, eyes open gazing on the floor in front of you. Hmmm
Later, I continue to practice meditation every day. I start to think: Could there be some psychological pain? Maybe. I feel the pain. I accept it. I don't ignore it and I'm not pushing it away. But I want to understand it. I think I am ready for Family Constellation (Aile Dizimi) a meditative therapy method to help unravel difficult family entanglements. I realize there is some unfinished business in my family's life. I may have solved some of it while living abroad away from family, but it's not complete yet. I want to continue, I want to bring it out to the open!
And we'll see what happens next. I've come so far to accept life as it is with the help of Meditation. I also now feel I can actually live in Istanbul. I can see a community there too, and some work. Maybe Bodrum isn't my only option. Wow! Change never stops right...transformations never stops! That is the beauty of life. And even more beautiful is watching these changes with your eyes closed happy in your core:)
Thank you for reading, it was long but beautiful I hope:)
I finish with the words of one of my fave songs by Donna De Lory, Bathe in These Waters:
Lost. Criticized. Hard to reach, hard to find. You will rise, I'll watch you fly. You will shine..in time. Bathe in these waters..bathe in these waters..and wash it away...wash it away...
Far..far from grace..wearing the past..on your face. You will change. Nothing stays the same. You will find..your way. Just Bathe in these waters..bathe in these water...and wash it away...
Hara Hara MahaDeva Shambo..Sharanam...